My New Career

So, the last two days I've engaged in activities that have me wanting to find a new career path. First off, I attended a step aerobics class. And while I'm glad this moment in my life wasn't witnessed by anyone I knew, it was kind of fun and our instructor had so much energy. That leads me to my career, I'd like to be a step class instructor because A) why would I not want to be as happy as those people.(Maybe its the endorphins I found it annoying at first, but why would happiness be a bad thing. Really, it's not. And B) I would stay in shape. Working out would be my job, duh.












So, that's what I'll be doing during the day. At night, I want to be a Hibachi chef! Their skills are actually incredible. I was thinking about if they screwed up when they were spinning a steaming hot spatula around, there could be some serious injuries. Also, I could say cool things like "Japanese egg roll" (spinning egg in shell), "Japanese coke" (soy sauce), and "Japanese microwave" (upside down bowl on the grill) and people would laugh. An added bonus is that neither one of these careers would require me to take anymore chemistry.

Today in class I was offered a cinnamon flavored Australian chewing stick... I thought it wise to decline.

Happy Birthday to ME

This year for my birthday I would like to get...
1. an umbrella
2. some waterproof boots
3. a rad raincoat with a hood

I want these items because today was pouring rain when I woke up so my roommate was nice enough to drive me to school. But, getting there was the easy part. Once there, you still have to get to class and perhaps if I had either one or more of the above mentioned gifts, I wouldn't have been so cold and wet on my journey to class. And perhaps if I hadn't gotten so cold and wet, I would not have had the urge to get a hot cider. And maybe if I hadn't had the urge for hot cider, I wouldn't have taken the sip of cider the same temperature as magma and burned my tongue to uselessness.

Confidence Booster

So, this evening I was invited to play on a slowpitch softball team. My softball skills are quite nonexistant which was very obvious when I tried out for softball my freshman year of high school and was so bad that the coaches couldn't help but laugh at me attempting to bunt. Recalling that instance made me nervous to play tonight. The league was open to 18 and over but I would say that the majority of participants qualified as "over". The other team had a lady who was at least 60, but she hit a nice line drive to second. So, I think that I'm totally allowed to be proud of myself because I hit the ball everytime I was at bat and I even scored once (not to mention that our team won). Yeah, life is good.

ALLRED!!

Once again, I found myself persuaded by the whining powers of a twelve, excuse me, thirteen year old. Makenna wanted to go to St. George last Saturday night to see Allred. Her alltime favorite addiction. When she asked me for a ride I told her that I wasn't in the mood to go see him perform for a third time (even though I like his music). Well, spur of the moment, after she had been thouroughly disappointed after my rejection, my dad offers to take her to the show. Well, my dad doesn't want to go alone so he insists that my mom accompany him (she didn't really want to go either). So, the plans are that Makenna is to go with my parents and her friend Tayzha. Well, Tayzha couldn't go so Makenna had to go with just my parents (OH the Horror!). So, I found myself in the backseat listening to some honky tonk CD that my dad pulled out from the bottom of his collection that had me wondering about the state of his sanity when he purchased it.

We arrived at Jazzy Java for the show and I sat down and prepared to enjoy some music. As I sipped my mocha that I think was pure espresso with whipped cream on the top and I pondered the possibility of the imprints being left on my legs from the wicker chair becoming permanent, a thought hit me. "This guy is talented." I had forgotten how good his voice really was. Then I started thinking about how John Allred spends his time singing in coffee shops, malls, and any venue where he can perform and then there are people (Katy Perry, Sean Kinston, and others) who are quite famous/popular, but they really can barely hold a tune in real life and yet they have millions of fans while Allred's biggest fan might be my little sister. I mean Makenna knows his favorite store, every detail of his touring schedule, his tendency to tilt his head to the left when he sings, and she even has plans for him to marry Caitlin (obviously not herself because she's too young). I just hope that one day he gets his big break or he might find himself as a part of my family.

Eulogy to a Ladybug

Yesterday I was swimming in the pool when a ladybug dangerously flew into the water. I felt that it was my duty as a human to save it because I could (and ladybugs are the only bugs that I don't let drown because they are cute). So, I fished the ladybug out with my hand and set it gently on the deck next to Divot who I thought would appreciate my action of kindness. He actually thought that I was giving him a snack. He licked up the ladybug and continued to take a few bites and spit it out and repeat the process several times until all that was left was a wing. Now, I understand that ladybugs are small and you'd think that one swallow would do the job, chewing may have not even been necessary, but I watched the gruesome scene and that's what happened. I feel that a drowning may have been more humane. So, as an apology to that ladybug, I am writing it a eulogy in cinquain poem form.

Ladybug
Six Spotted
Eaten to Death
Was Gone Too Soon
Only a Wing to Remember

Men vs. Women

Women
My mom had a three herniated disks. She never complained and even tried to lift things and do things that could hurt her further because she didn't want to be a burden.
Men
My dad hurt his knee the other day. Today I have heard about nothing other than news on his leg and how it hurts and the last time he had surgery on his knee. He has been limping around the house making grunting noises every time that he walks with a sleeve on his leg.

This is the difference between men and women. My dad possibly has an injury and it has consumed his and everyone else's day. My mom had a broken spine and you almost wouldn't have known.